Hemorrhoids?

[BackInAction]

Well, yeah. It's 2013 and I'm still alive, so......

Also, I apologize if this post may offend anyone's sensibilities regarding their own anatomy, but my aim is to educate with this post and I'm not particularly worried about embarrassing myself in the process. Therefore......


Hey, all....I mean HEY ALL!!

It's been a while since I last assaulted the pages of this forum and, having just paid my annual dues (can't recall if I paid'em last year but I still have access so...), I thought, "Why the heck not announce my ongoing existence with a missive that is both useful and, more typically, an exposure of a non-spoken of blight upon the saddle facing extremities"? Who could argue with that? (he thought to himself while pouring another snifter of vino)

85% (according to my research) of the North American population, at a wide range of ages, from very young to very old, both male and female, get to experience, to some degree, the joy of the "roids". (as in, Hemorrhoids)

Personally, I wondered, for most of my life (still going by the way), what hemorrhoids might be like. Kind of like hangovers, a splinter under your fingernail, digging your cranium on a shingle nail on the underside of a roof, slapping your Adam's Apple on the crossbar while your Joffa kisses your front number plate, or....perhaps, childbirth, for the female component of the group....it's the kind of thing you can only properly appreciate after first-hand experience.

Not to drag this out, overly expand the topic, or go into unnecessarily inflammatory details of my own...ahhh...circumstance....I will simply convey that a wondrous solution, for alleviation of this persistent annoyance, does exist. There is also no reason to put it off or delay it's implementation in any way.

It's called, "Banding", a process used in the...ahh...cattle industry, with young males...umm...to remove their, eh, male components....uhhhh...also works fantastically for Hemorrhoids.

I've done it (just completed round 2...repeat offender apparently). It works very well and is trouble free. You get your own butt back again. I delayed far too long before doing this and there is no reason for that (yeah....I was chicken). The sooner you do it...the sooner you, and your butt, will feel about 30 years younger.

I am now 1 of the 15 % not fussing with the dreaded "Roids" (Preparation H, my old friend, we'll always be pals, but I just don't need you like I did when we first met).

If you are one of the remaining 85%, relax, talk to your doc, and get a re-newed bum via banding. Well worth it and much less of a challenge than I worried for years that it would be.

No longer will you have to cautiously pucker & squeeze for that hard cough or sneeze, or let that probable shart, upon landing, decrease the distance of your over-jump on that triple (or, on that single, maybe a gopher mound, for guys of my era).

Smiley face (and butt) goes here.

[rock933]

It's my understanding that they are caused fom pushig to hard. Staying hydrated and a high fiber diet go a long ways to preventing those things and a lot of other health problems.

[Dobi]

Hey Bill, glad to hear you are still alive and well?

Are you planning on using the freshly resurfaced backside for getting in some ice racing this winter?

[BackInAction]

rock933: I agree. Anything that takes the strain off the tail-end of the poor old colon is going to be a benefit. A nice loose, easy sliding stool encouraged by fibre and hydration will go a long way to eliminating any nasty straining in the delivery exercise. I also think going closer to the time nature gives you the first call, and not holding back all that fibre until you can't any longer is also important.

Dobi: If my keister was the only obstacle to getting back on the ice, I'd have had the tires mounted in Nov.! You may recall, from my last posts of likely a year or more back, that there is this Lyme thing lurking around. I'm still working on that and it does have me parked at present. Making headway slowly, but tough to predict exactly when I'll have it completely bagged. Meanwhile, I can't get the ice or the dirt out of my head (I could panel my whole house with bike magazines). I still have the ex-Corner Grass, monster Berg in the garage needing some TLC to bring the "improved" engine back to life and, at every opportunity, I find myself looking at other engines wondering about the best fit for big fun power and also a smattering of reliability.

Wish I could type to make it sound like Arnie, but, "I'll Be Back".....and I won't be going slow...promise.

...and someday, Dorothy, in a land far, far away....I will even be back racing on the dirt side too. After all, I think my email signature here says something about roosting Fryguy. Gotta at least try to do it!!

Looking forward to chasing trails ASAP!

[rock933]

http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/200 ... sease.html